Pregnant people only get fat due to others people's crap...

I am sure of it.

The only time I want to eat - is when I am looking for an excuse to the get the hell out of my semi-retarded office. I work with pretty fantastic girls in fact, I wouldn't survive without them - however the few minor issue that arise with "the others" make me want to hide out in a McDonalds Buried in a MC Chicken Sandwich (or 10). Therefore I concluded - that IF I gain 90 pounds - but only have an 7 pound baby - its the stupid jerks that made me fat.

I have approx. 97 more work days left before my Mat Leave....I seriously hope I can survive that many more! I guess if I am allowed to take my 2 weeks vacation - I'll only have 87 work days left!

Today I am really craving a Rice Noodle Bowl! I wonder where I can get one....I wonder if thats considered balanced eating? Who cares....

I also happen to love Citrus - Have I told you yet about my passion for Ruby Red's?

Thank GOD its Friday!

Practice makes perfect!

I've been warned that in a few short months I will no longer have time to get ready and sexify myself. I can see how that can happen - having to rush, needing to get ready in 10 minutes or less, being heavy-boobed and sleep deprived...soooooo - I made a plan.

I will call it the "No baby will make me a frump" plan. If this works - there may be a book in my future. So I am going to practice ahead of time - create glam outfits that are comfortable and buy some wigs....maybe tattoo on some make up(for that classy look). Today for instance I woke up around 8:30 - I start work at 9:00 and I look FABULOUS! I think it will take some dedication and lots of prep but I can do it.

In all honesty - I am starting to see how some people find Moo-Moo's an appropriate clothing choice....but I will fight it, I promise. This blog will come back to haunt me otherwise.

I am so HUNGRY. My massive amounts of tiny Christmas-season Citrus fruits are not holding me over....I find myself lusting after Crispy Creme Donuts....I won't do it (talk about a direct path to above mentioned Moo-Moo's!) I hate when I am hungry and some dumb-ass suggests "why don't you have a yogurt?" Seriously. When has thick milk product fulfilled the needs of a grown woman....stupid stupid suggestion! Yogurt has never solved world hunger. Sure I'll have one - they are yummy and healthy, but I might team it up with something else (like fruit and a croissant and a tea) now we're talking...

A baby is a get out of Jail Free Card!

So....

Tuesday is worse than Monday. I am somewhat kidding - today was a very comical day.

I had the new girl from work in my car with me - showing her the ropes so to speak - When I get pulled over making an illegal right hand turn from Bay St onto Richmond. I literally had NO idea I couldn't turn right there....I am adding this to my list of things I dislike about Toronto.

So if getting pulled over in front of the new girl wasn't bad enough:
- He then informed me he disliked women - I assume he was kidding
- I told him I was pregnant and irritable and I would really appreciate the fine without the loss of two points
- After promising I would say hello to my baby from him as soon as it was born AND that I would name it Miller (his last name) I got off with nothing.


I am almost positive this means I am evil. What kind of mother-to-be offers up her child to get out of a ticket. THIS ONE! Deal with it. And when Baby Miller enters the world I will have some 'splainin' to do!

Oh yeah - the kind Police Office didn't pull me over in a car - he stood in front of my car which I took as a sign to go around him (cops always help construction sites) turns out he needed me to pull over....lesson learned. I am surprised he was so nice after that. Wicked sense of Humour that man!

I've eaten 4 Clementine's today....I even enjoy the seedy ones. For Christmas I might ask for Citrus!

Monday Mornings

Pregnancy and gutting one's home are NOT a good mix.

I am so grossed out by the construction-zone we call home! It's making me crazy - the smells, the mess, the MESS, the smells, the NO RUNNING WATER on the main floor - and have I mentioned the smells?

I was pretty much miserable all weekend...all I could smell was my house ; (

On Saturday we ventured to Etobicoke to see the family I used to Nanny for. They are more like my GTA adopted family. I love them so much. Seeing their boys made me realize how quickly my baby (that isn't even close to being born yet) will grow up, start losing teeth, reading, spelling etc. It really is quite amazing. My 26 years of life have felt very long, and yet they have passed so so quickly. I have a feeling that a child is going to age me faster than I think.

I bought myself some boots yesterday. This was a very big feat as I am shockingly indecisive as of late. I finally have equestrian boots that I love. I really was afraid of getting shoved into some frumpy scary pregnancy friendly attire...barf

Thats all for now. Somehow talking about boots I remembered I need to call our Mortgage Broker....I am ALL over the place!

Ruby Red Grapefruit

I love them. I don't know why but Ruby Red ( and I mean the REALLY red kind) make me so happy.

And no this is not JUST because I am growing kid.

After researching various Citrus Fruits I have concluded that the best limes are the ones from Mexico (while there vacationing of course and you can pick them off of a tree)the best Oranges AND Rube Red's come from Florida.

Maybe this is where I need to live - a warm citrus-growing country. Why I think I might just do that one day. Here's hoping Jonathan shares my adoration of citrus....you can marry the love of your life but never really know HOW they feel about fruits, importing and such until you ASK them I suppose.

We're going to a friends house for dinner tonight - I am always afraid my heightened sense of smell and extremely tricky puke reflex will make me a terrible guest....ask Eric F. he knows.

Love.

____ May harm your Unborn child....

So I know to watch out for smoking, drinking, soft cheese, cat litter, certain herbs, cat scratches, gum disease, raw meats, undercooked meats, not enough meats, unwashed vegetation, stress (riiiight), tape worms, heart worms, advil - well almost all medications.....then I got to thinking....

Nobody ever warns pregnant women about external factors. What if I am surrounded by things like AFO or White Snake or En Vogue and its turned up REALLY loud and I can't escape it? I will be exposing my child to very unhealthy music. Why just today my bitch Britney came on the radio, and even though I tried to fight it, I was groovin' right along....I may have even been singing....I will never be able to measure the effect this has on the baby. If in 20 or so years he / she marries a married background dancer while clad in jumpsuits then I guess I have my answer.

I have to be more careful turning on the radio - what if NKOTB were to come on? Thats all I need those freaky little has beens effecting my fetus and given it images of 40 year old men making out with teenage girls on the beack....ewww. Who knew there were so many dangers to babies! In my mothers time she only had to worry about artists like Annie Lennox, and Rita McNeal.....life was simple then.....

I'm going to go home right after work and listen to Band Of Horses, She & Him, OLD weezer, and the Fratelli's perhaps I'll through in a lil Beatles....this baby will be born with decent musical tastes.....

SWEEEEET!

OMG - I just realized this will be the first time ever that I am legitimately use the mothers parking spots at the malls!!! I might actually LOVE Christmas shopping this year! If you've ever been to Yorkdale Mall you understand...

There are SO many perks to having a baby!!!!!!

I knew today was going to ROCK!